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A quick googling on “how to stop people pleasing” gives you lists of things to do in order to stop being a people-pleaser. In my experience, very few of them will make an actual shift to your inner world and address the root cause. If you’re looking for a more sustainable way to shift the patterns of people-pleasing, you’re in the right place.
If you grew up learning that having needs and wantings comes with bad consequences, chances are that suggestions like “listen to your inner voice” and “learn to be assertive and stand up for yourself” won’t do much. Truly shifting a people-pleaser role can instead take you on an incredible inner journey where you learn to get in touch with your body, feel more, honor your needs, release shame and inventory your fears. You might even end up feeling grateful for your people-pleaser pattern, for teaching you valuable life skills, and bringing you closer to the true you.
In this episode of the Uncover YOU podcast, I talk about different versions of people-pleasing and the two systems you need to address to shift them. I also cover the inner archetype characters and why they have found pleasing to be the best solution. Most importantly, I break down the main ingredient to get in touch with your real needs and desires.